I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm at about main and main street
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
