If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
