had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
