:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
