yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
