I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
