Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
