I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize