i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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