Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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