Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
