this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
