dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
