Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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