Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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