No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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