Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
operation harelip BJ is a go
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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