don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I am one with the molecules
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
