Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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