He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Randomize
