p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
