speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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