Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
