everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize