you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Drunk is not a location!
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
