I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize