Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So much rum. So many feels.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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