THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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