it hurts more in the daytime
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
