I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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