I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
