Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
