My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We talked him into tasing himself.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
