dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
