He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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