i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
