if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
