The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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