Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
