I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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