Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
