Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The maid of honor just puked.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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