is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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