i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
