$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
