I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
