I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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