trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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