what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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