yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
