Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i out mim tonsoeep
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
