Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
