Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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