Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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