It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
