At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
