"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize