That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
