I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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