i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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