new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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