Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
