we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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