FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
