haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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