hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
