He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize