my vag is so smooth its legendary
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Pants are for mortals
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
