i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
jump out the window naked night went bad
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
