i would punch a child for taco bell
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
