After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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